Dreaming of Konoha
by Silent Magi
Summary: A lot of things in the Naruto-verse just do not make sense in the light of logic reasoning... from the sheer overpowering of the Sharingan, to the summons, to the anachronistic technology... like it's all just a dream... What if... the dreamer woke up?
1. Chapter 1

Naruto sighed as he looked around his dorm room, he'd had one of _those_ dreams again. Pushing off his bed, he walked over to his computer and began typing up his dream in the text file he kept open when he went to bed. He'd started it shortly after the dreams began forming a coherent storyline, thinking that when the men from the funny farm finally come to take him away, he could give them something to read for a laugh.

In a way it felt like the dreams were more complete, more real than the life he lived now. Living at Konoha boarding school since the death of his parents in a car accident when he was young. He still had scars on his cheeks and elsewhere on his body from that accident. He'd finally graduated that ninja academy, dead last of the class. It seemed even in his dreams he couldn't find studying interesting.

Heck, he even had to go through an extra credit exam that turned out to be a frame job just in order to graduate. He'd just have to avoid Mr. Mizuki for a few days until the dream faded from memory. Just to be safe that is.

Sighing heavily, he saved the file and closed it before leaning back and checking the online student bulletin board to see what was on tap for today. It being Saturday, they didn't have classes, but usually there was something for students to do on campus, since the nearest city was several miles away. Nothing really caught his attention until the very last item on the board. It seemed there was to be a student led study of dreams.

Normally this wouldn't have caught his attention, save for two things. The leader of the group was Shikamaru Nara, not only one of the laziest students in the school, but also one of the brightest. The other thing that caught his attention was the name of the group itself.

_Konoha's_

_Student_

_Health_

_Interest_

_Nocturnal_

_Observational_

_Based_

_Investigation_

If he was reading it right, it was Konoha's Shinobi, which was almost a direct sign from his dreams. In sparkling neon letters, with fireworks, nude dancers doing cartwheels while a brass band played the national anthem. Even he wasn't dense enough to ignore something this blatant.

Following a link to the website Shikamaru had put together, he found that he wasn't the first person to consider joining the group. Along with Shikamaru, there was Chouji Akimichi, a pleasant guy in the culinary arts program, and Shino Aburame, a silent student that seemed destined for a life as an entomologist. Each one had been members of his class in the academy in his dreams.

Deciding to take a chance, he signed up, and browsed the forums curiously. Buried deep in many sub-forums he found a thread asking for people to post their dreams. No one had posted anything yet, so he decided to blaze the trail.

Pulling up his dream journal, he copied over the most recent three dreams over into the post and uploaded it. They didn't need to know about his dreams of neglect and abuse before the last year of the academy. After bookmarking the main site, he decided to go out and enjoy the rainy weather.

Getting down to the greenhouse, he let himself in with the key that the teachers had given him as one of the only two students interested in gardening. Occasionally the principal Hiruzen Sarutobi would pop in and join him while he worked on the plants. The other student, one Ino Yamanaka had her own little section dedicated to flowers of all shapes and sizes, while he focused mainly on fruits and vegetables. They would rotate their sections to keep the soil fertile, but otherwise they seldom actually saw each other.

He knew she was a blonde, with blue eyes that favored purple from the few times he'd met her. Breathing deeply he smiled as the smell of dirt, plants, and water filled his senses. He always felt best working in the greenhouse, especially on days where it was raining outside. He took a moment to check the water trough that was fed from the rain gutters, to make sure it wasn't clogged. Finding it flowing happily to the plants he nodded and began going through all his plants, weeding them and making notes about the health of them.

He needed to figure out a way to get them pollinated soon, as the tools he'd used last year had broken over the winter when they had been crushed under a pallet of potatoes for the Christmas Feast. He'd watched helplessly as they'd been knocked over, and called out for them to watch out for the instruments. The driver sadly misheard him and set down the load on top of them. They had paid for the replacement of the device, but it had been put on back order for the past three months.

Maybe he could bug Shino and the bug clu... err Entomologist Enthusiasts to corral some bugs into the greenhouse to help pollinate the plants. He'd have to ask Ino about it. Making a mental note to leave her a message on the dry erase board they used to talk to each other, he moved on to his corn. He'd have to tell the culinary club to expect a full three bushels this year it seemed. He might even have enough to make a fourth bushel. The first batch of tomatoes were ripening up nicely, he could pick them in about a week or so.

Getting to the end of the row, he found the dry erase board waiting for him. No new messages were waiting for him from Ino, but there was a note to her from Mr. Sarutobi asking if she could freshen up the flowers at the main entryway. Smiling he added in the note about the bugs for pollination, and gave her his e-mail address so that she could reply directly if she wanted.

Washing his hands at the sink by the door, he smiled as a final smell of the little haven the greenhouse provided filled his senses again. The rain lightly drumming on the glass seemed to only make the scene more peaceful.

Locking the door behind him, he looked up at the clock on the wall, wondering if it was late enough to go eat breakfast. Finding that it was just after six, he smiled and started towards the dining hall. The cooks usually didn't mind making food for students, but they did tend to frown when ask before six in the morning, or after ten at night. They still preferred to making it themselves, instead of a student, unless they were enrolled in the culinary arts program.

Maybe if he was lucky he could get a seat by the window, and watch the rain pouring down. He still needed to figure out something to do with the rest of his day since breakfast could only last so long.

Getting a bowl of raisin bran, an orange, some milk and juice he captured one of the tables by the windows, probably before many of the other students even opened their eyes. He could go back to his room, read through that forum a bit more, but he didn't feel like sitting around all day. Maybe he could bug the gym teacher, Maito Gai, about letting him into the gym so he could have some fun exercising. Heck, he and Rock Lee would probably be there already exercising like maniacs.

He didn't know much about the top athlete of the school, but he did know that he was nearly perpetually working out with Gai.

Halfway through the meal, he found himself being joined by someone he least expected. "Hello Naruto..." Shino intoned as he settled in across from the blonde. "I hope you don't mind me sitting here..."

"No... not at all..." Naruto answered, clearing a few of his orange rinds that had spilled off his tray to give the shades wearing teen more room. "Just surprised is all... Most people don't like sitting by me..."

"I wonder why that is..." Shino stated calmly while starting his own meal, made up of a lot of fruit salad and juice. "Your pranks are a minor reason I can understand, but not enough for this type of exclusion... Many even find them humorous, and even more can say they are justified..."

Naruto shrugged as he chewed a spoonful of cereal, he'd never really given it that much thought. He'd never really sought out people that often, unlike his dream-self, he preferred having time alone to think about things. Sure he didn't shun people if they approached them, and if he saw someone needing a shoulder, he'd be there, but he normally just went about his day without much contact with others outside of class.

The pair passed their meal in companionable silence as neither felt the need to talk about much. As Naruto was getting up, Shino cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. "About your posting earlier... you left out much of that year... I would have thought you'd have posted about the cruelties others inflicted on you... Pleasant to see I was wrong..."

Naruto's head whipped around, and his eyes bugged out as what Shino said sank in. "You... uh... know about my dreams?"

"You could say that... we have overlapping dreams Naruto..." Shino answered as he got up from the table. "This is not the place, but should you have free time... you may wish to attempt something from that dream..."

Naruto laughed softly while shrugging his shoulders again. "Sure why not? I've nothing better to do today, see ya around Shino. Thanks for sitting with me." Even though he dismissed the idea, he couldn't help but wonder if there was some merit to it. Had Shino done so himself? Was he giving him some hint to what those dreams could be?

Letting his mind drift, he wandered down to the athletics wing, and poked his head in to see if Gai was in the main gym as he usually was with Lee. Seeing the green nightmare-inducing spandex clad man, he got his attention and asked to go use one of the smaller gyms and training dummies to work on the self-defense coursework for the past week.

To his surprise, the room was already open for free use, by the school idol himself Sasuke Uchiha. Shrugging it off, he decided to head to the lockers and change into some sweats. Finding the last of the Uchiha changing, he grunted a good morning and set about getting dressed. The duck-butt haired idol grunted back, and set about warming up. It was perhaps the most either said to each other in over ten months.

The two walked out into the sparring room, and began their warm up routines. After about ten minutes, they both walked to the opposite end of the gym and began going through the warm-up katas that Gai had instructed them through. Finally they turned to their respective dummies and began the actual workout. Striking them with fists, elbows, knees, legs, feet, and headbutts, they began covering all the blows that they'd been taught. It was shortly after the fifth repetition of this that they heard... _it_. A sound that sent the Uchiha glancing around in a panic. Naruto knew exactly what it was, and pointed to the storage closet.

He almost swore that he'd never seen anyone move faster than the Uchiha did just then, before he realized that he'd seen Lee doing sprints about that fast. Naruto simply went back to attacking his training dummy without a further thought to the noise. After a while, the fangirls arrived, and found the gym where they'd been expecting to capture Sasuke in, to be completely void of said crush magnet. After a few blows, Naruto turned to look at them, seeing the shirts they wore, emblazoned with said guy's face he shook his head. "Check the pool..."

The stampede to be the first to see Sasuke swimming was impressive to say the least. Naruto could almost feel the vacuum left by their departure. Instead of letting it bother him, he pondered what Shino had told him. Try to do what his dream-self could do.

Cocking his fist back he thought about shifting the flowing energy inside him into his fist like he'd been taught during the dream's taijutsu class. After a moment he felt that he'd built up enough energy and slammed his fist into the dummy's torso. Two things surprised him at that precise moment.

The first was that his fist plowed right through the padding and wooden center. The second was that Sasuke emerged from the closet with a pink haired attachment, and a violet haired girl trying to remind said attachment to behave ladylike.

Now, this wouldn't have been bad any other time, however he was still stuck with his fist sticking out the backside of the dummy. As the three noticed him, they all seemed to stare in disbelief, save Hinata who seemed to be turning red. Naruto just figured she was mad about him damaging school equipment. "Umm... hey guys... can you get Mr. Gai? I think I'm stuck..."


	2. Chapter 2

Needless to say, he was thoroughly embarrassed by the time Gai arrived and helped him remove his arm from the training dummy. To make matters worse, Gai had taken it upon himself as his destined mission to get Naruto to join the mixed martial arts team. Even after explaining that he'd taken one of the oldest dummies, Naruto was still stuck with Gai, and his little clone Lee pleading for him to join the clubs. Naruto managed to deflect them long enough to escape into the showers by pointing out that Sasuke had better style and would be a better choice.

He knew that Sasuke would be annoyed with that one, but thankfully he knew the ultimate weakness to gain his forgiveness. The tomatoes would do wonders to getting back to Sasuke's neutrally indifferent side. Thankful once again for having memorized the school's layout, he decided to take the back exit from the gym, cutting through the outer hall, he smiled seeing the rain still coming down.

He'd managed to kill another two hours, but he still had four hours to go before lunch, so he decided that he needed something to do. The student commons was out, since that would be packed. His room was out, since Sasuke would likely hunt him down there. The greenhouse was doing alright without him, but he could check the message board to see if Ino had been in yet. The library had it's appeal, in that no one ever suspected he'd hide there, but since he'd discovered they had a small graphic novel section he'd helped out there on occasion, but his favorite librarian Mr. Umino wasn't working today.

His wandering was distracted when he saw someone standing at the end of the hall, looking directly at him. Gulping he smiled sheepishly and wondered if he'd pissed off some god or other recently. "Hey Tenten... what's up?"

"Nothing, just don't see many people walk down these halls... wanted to see what was going on..." the brunette answered while pushing herself off the wall. "I saw what you posted this morning... do you always get up before five?"

"Huh?" Naruto asked, his mind having gotten on the track of explaining the dreams away. "Oh, well I like to swing by the greenhouse before I go to class..."

"Oh? So it's you that's growing all those plants in there? I'd been wondering... I mean I see Ino working all the time in there, but not on the vegetables and other plants..." Tenten mused while walking alongside the shorter blonde. "Would you be the one that gives the culinary arts students those fresh melons?"

"Yeah..." Naruto chuckled while rubbing the back of his head. "They asked me to grow some for them a few years ago, and it just went from there... actually a lot of the fresh fruit in the cafeteria is some that I grew..."

"That's good... it's nice to see others contributing to helping this school cut down on its bills..." Tenten replied with a smile and a playful wink. "Especially when they're little cuties like you..."

Naruto squeaked nervously, and a blush began forming on his cheeks, making his scars stand out brightly. "Uhh... well... thanks... umm... you're pretty cute yourself..." he stumbled, trying to come up with a compliment that she'd like. "I saw that you won the basketball game last week..."

"Yeah, well the others helped..." Tenten admitted while her own blush built on her cheeks. "I just helped out where I could..."

"By nailing twenty-five of the thirty baskets, all from past the free throw line..." Naruto quoted with a devious smile on his face. "If I remember right, you were one-hundred percent on your shots that night... as always..."

"You seem to be following me rather closely Naruto... especially for someone I only met in detention two weeks ago..." Tenten teased while ruffling the blonde's hair.

"Gah! Stop it!" Naruto shouted while trying to swat the teasing hands away. "Jeez, take a little interest in a friend, when she's mentioned in the school's newsletter as the hero of the girl's basketball team..."

The older girl laughed happily as she continued walking with the blonde. "So what are you up to today? Another prank?"

"Nah, I'm taking a break from them..." To be perfectly honest, he was waiting on a few supplies to arrive for a really spectacular prank. But he didn't have to tell her that... in fact it was probably best not to, for both of their sakes. "I just got done doing some self-defense training, and wanted to avoid Mr. Gai..."

"I know how that goes... I take out one girl about twice my size, and he's begging and pleading me to join that Mixed Martial Arts team of his..."

"Accidentally broke an old training dummy..." Naruto admitted with a sigh. "We just have no luck, huh?"

"I don't know about that..." a new voice spoke up from behind them, causing them to whip around in surprise. With barely a whisper the form of the English Literature teacher popped out a classroom he'd probably snuck off to read his orange covered porn novels in private. "Maa... you don't have to seem so surprised you two..."

"Er right..." Naruto answered while clearing his throat. "What do you mean by that Mr. Hatake?"

"Oh just that even bad luck is a form of luck... is it not?" the eye-patch clad teacher added while his good eye crinkled with mirth. "But look at you two now... just two weeks ago, both of you were didn't know anything about the other, and now... you each have a very good friend..."

"Oh... yeah... that's true..." Tenten answered while scratching her cheek. "I can see how that goes..."

"And soon you will start dating each other, get married, have two point five kids, settled down in the suburbs with a cat and a dog... Would you like to start with a dog? My friend at the adoption center is packed... and if they aren't adopted soon, they'll go to the Inuzuka family ranch..." Kakashi rambled as he read his work of ultimate literary fantasy, with great plots, intrigue, and only a minor dash of adult themes and suggestive material.

"Hey is that Mr. Gai?" Naruto asked while looking over Kakashi's shoulder. It was amusing to see the one-eyed teacher freak out. First his eye would snap as wide open as it could get, then he would whip around so fast that his neck would crack loudly, and then he'd fall to the ground holding his neck while crying out in pain. As step three occurred, Naruto and Tenten made good the escape that his self-inflicted whiplash allowed.

Getting to the main hallway, they found themselves outside the greenhouse where Ino was flitting around her flowers happily. Knocking on the door, he got her attention and she waved him to come in.

Apparently her first stop had been to check the message board, and she was hurrying to get the flowers ready for the main entry way, but she wanted to let Naruto he could go ahead and talk to Shino about getting the pollinating bugs in the greenhouse. It was her parting shot that got the two blushing however. "And take one of those roses for your girlfriend!"

Any denial that the two supplied seemed only to fuel the florist's smirk, until finally she clipped a yellow rose and handed it to Tenten herself. "There, since you two can't tell your obvious feelings for each other..."

The pair continued on their trip through the school, both of them blushing heavily. About the time they finally got the blushing back under control, they'd finally gotten to the commons, which was just as Naruto predicted. Completely packed with bored students. What he hadn't predicted was that they'd all be surrounding one of the pinball games. Since he didn't really care, he took the chance to secure the two of them an arcade machine.

"Ninja Whirlpool, that's a new one..." Tenten stated with a playful smirk as she slipped the rose into one of her buns. Naruto picked the first character he came across while she took a character that specialized in weapon use. A few seconds familiarizing themselves with the control, the debate began. They needed a third to fill out the squad. Naruto wanted a medic ninja, while Tenten wanted a tank. The debate ended when another person selected a character to play. Both of them looked over, to find Ms. Mitarashi had decided to join them as a snake summoning ninja.

The commons monitor was a regular at playing these games, as her job required her to make sure they were in working order. She did have top score on most of the games in the commons, and a few more private systems in the dorms. It's even rumored that she had the high scores on all the games on the campus's website, but no one wanted to ask her if she was PrettyPrincessKitty or not.

The three proceeded to dominate the game on the hardest setting. Somehow it felt almost second nature to be playing the characters they'd chosen, Naruto's was a powerhouse of energy, with regenerative abilities, even if his fighting and selection of techniques was subpar. When he leveled up, he decided to go with the strength of the character, and just started overwhelming the enemies with spam attacks.

Tenten seemed to have a savage side, as her weapon choices were always the nastiest, cruelest, most pain inducing selections possible. However, the real sadist of the group was Ms. Mitarashi, who quite frankly was doing things with those snakes that Naruto was certain that he shouldn't be exposed to until he's over 18, if at all. If those dreams were going to send him to a shrink, this memory would give the shrink nightmares.

Yay for scarring for life.

During one of the cut-scenes from hell, seriously they took five minutes to go through the SHORTEST one, Naruto took a chance to look back at the pinball game, to find that more than half had turned to watch them. Looking over at the adult, he decided to ask. "What was up with the pinball game Ms. Mitarashi?"

"Oh that? Neji Hyuuga was trying to beat my record... I don't think he'll manage..." the woman answered with a smirk as she watched the screen. "You must not come here often kid... call me Anko... Ms. Mitarashi sounds old..."

"How'd you land a gig like this?" Tenten chimed in while tapping her finger impatiently at the intermission. She really wanted to test out the new blade she'd gotten from the latest level up.

"I applied at the right time, fresh outta being here since I was orphaned..." Anko answered while the cut scene finished up.

"Yeah... know how that feels..." the younger pair answered dryly before getting savage on the new batch of enemies. Neither liked to be reminded that they had no family outside the school, even if they hadn't mentioned it to anyone, and above all else, they hated to be pitied. And thus they acted out in different ways.

Tenten pushed herself athletically, while Naruto resorted to pranking those that he felt had wronged him. The fact that he let most people slide and never hit anyone that hadn't wronged him or his friends severely gained him some support with the students, and more than a few teachers.

A mere two hours and fifty-three minutes later, the trio smirked at the ending credits while the chater of the watchers filled their ears. Naruto was the first to talk. "That was fun... now for some lunch..."

"Not bad kid, if you ever find yourself with too much time on your hands, come back and I'll show you some of the other games..." Anko offered while walking over to the counter she was supposed to man normally. Reaching behind it, she pulled out two capsules and tossed them at her former game partners. "Here, it's the company's prize for beating the game."

Pocketing whatever it was that she'd tossed, he nodded his agreement, and followed Tenten out of the commons. Walking along he chuckled softly. "That was fun... first time I've ever done that..."

"Oh? Too crowded for ya?" Tenten teased while playfully shoving his shoulder. "Gotta get you out of your shell Naruto, maybe then you'll come and watch my games for yourself. And..." she paused to mockingly gasp. "Even show some school spirit!"

"Yeah, yeah..." Naruto grumbled with a smile on his face, showing that he didn't mean anything by it. "Tell you what, you manage to prank Mr. Umino, and I'll come to your next game, not only that, I'll lead the cheers."

"Deal!" Tenten agreed, figuring that it would be an easy win for her. Little did she know that Iurka Umino was the prankster king that had taught Naruto almost all that he knew. Little did Naruto know that she never gave up once her goal was fixed in her sights.

Lunch was a pleasant affair, Naruto caught Shino's attention just as he was leaving the serving lines, and got him to sit with Tenten and himself. The entomology enthusiasts seemed to be interested in the idea, and only said that they'd have to get the approval of Mr. Sarutobi before they did anything.

Tenten left around one to go to practice, while Shino and Naruto cleaned up. After she'd left, Shino spoke up softly, so they'd be near impossible to overhear. "Have you done what I suggested earlier?"

Naruto blinked at the shift in topic before he realized what Shino was talking about. A nervous chuckle later and he began rubbing the back of his head. "Err yeah... got somewhere we can talk alone?"

"How about the greenhouse? It would serve me well to determine the insects that you need for your plants..." Shino replied without showing much reaction at all. "Unless you'd prefer to join me at the hive..."

"Umm... the greenhouse I think... Ino should be done, and I wanted to look over a couple of my plants..." Naruto answered, not that he minded bugs, but the sheer amount of them in the Hive was enough to drive any but the most enthusiastic entomologist buggy.


	3. Chapter 3

The trip to the greenhouse started uneventfully, until they made it to the hallway. There were two people waiting for Naruto that he'd prefer escaping for the rest of eternity. "YOSH! Oh great and youthful Naruto! Come and join us on the Mixed Martial Arts team and be my eternal rival!" Lee proclaimed loudly to the entire school at large.

"Excellent idea my prized pupil!" Gai joined in while crying with pride and joy. "If we cannot convince Naruto to join our club, then I shall do one million handstand kicks!"

Naruto paled visibly at the sight of the duo, and could almost swear he saw them in front of a sunset with waves crashing against the rocks as they hugged shouting each others names loudly. It was Shino's voice that let him know that he wasn't alone in seeing this. "How the hell did they do that..."

Naruto decided that the love fest provided the opportunity to make good their escape and began edging down the hall towards the agriculture wing of the school, where the greenhouse was located. He made it precisely two feet down the hall, before the two broke apart and started looking for him again. His options might have been limited, but he did what he felt was the best possible concept. He ran as fast and quietly as he could, focusing that energy from earlier into his legs.

He made it to the greenhouse door in the blink of an eye, sadly stopping was a bit of a problem. The solid brick wall of the hallway stopped him nicely enough. He hoped that no one would notice the blood impact marks, or the twin blood trails from his nose, on the wall. At least until he could clean them up some.

Sighing he pinched his nose and dug out the key, walking back to the door and unlocking it. A quick ten steps later and he had a tissue stuffed up his nostrils while he set about working on the plants and waiting for Shino.

Reviewing the lessons he'd learned from his past two attempts to use chakra, Naruto made a mental note to try and gain more control over it. Preferably before he ended up doing something that got him killed. Like running full tilt into the trophy cabinet or something.

After about two minutes, his musing was interrupted by Shino's arrival. "Might I recommend learning to control your chakra a bit more before attempting such actions again?"

Naruto laughed lightly as he made sure that his water trough was still flowing properly, it didn't happen often, but occasionally plant matter would clog up the drain, and he liked to keep an eye on it when it rained. Pulling out the tissues from his nose, he tossed it into the small bin that Ino had insisted they keep with the first aid kit. "You reading my mind now Bug-man?" Naruto shot back, before stopping short and rubbing the back of his head. "Ah sorry... didn't mean to insult you..."

"No insult taken... though Insect-man would be more accurate, Bug-man has a better ring to it..." Shino replied back dryly. Looking around he started nodding to himself. "I can see where you would need insects to help pollinate... a small hive of honey bees might work, but I think some of these would need specialized insects..."

Naruto blinked and gave a playful smirk as he turned back to the plants. It would seem that everyone was wrong, Shino did have a sense of humor. "I don't know much about insects and things like that... but we do have some earthworms in the soil around most of the plants... and we try to keep things organic here..."

"I see..." Shino answered while looking at a plant closely, turning over a leaf, as though inspecting it for bugs. "You used to use an artificial means prior to this year, correct?"

"Yeah, but it broke so..."

"The replacement has been pushed back again Naruto," an aged, wise voice cut in from the doorway, causing the two boys to turn their heads and gulp. Anyone could tell you who that gray beard belonged to, especially one who'd spent as much time in his office as Naruto had.

"Hello Mr. Sarutobi..." Naruto spoke up while Shino gave a simple nod. "Can I help you with something?"

"No, I am merely taking a walk around the school, and noticed the greenhouse door was open..." the principal answered with a kind smile. "Is young Shino going to be joining our little greenhouse club?"

"No sir, I am merely seeing about utilizing the Entomology club's expertize to benefit the school's other clubs," Shino explained calmly while shifting his head enough so that he could see the principal out of the corner of his eye, free of his perpetual shades. A rare mark of respect that he and his family had worked out due to the extreme sensitivity to light that their family had.

"Ah, pity, I had hoped... we are looking to expand the greenhouses, and without more people to tend to the plants, I do not see how we could justify that without cutting into our member's studies," Hiruzen explained while loosening his tie slightly. "It would be wonderful to get a larger crop... we save so much just because Naruto gives us the produce and only charges for seeds."

"I see... my insects I believe can help bolster the yield, but I fear that my skills with plants are more of a brown thumb than green," Shino answered quietly before sighing and shaking his head. "I will see if I know of any people interested... but perhaps Naruto or Ino could place posters for interested students in the common area... I have not seen any such recently..."

"Keeps getting taken down by the jock itch..." Naruto started before stopping at the dangerous look from Sarutobi. "Err... I believe it to be taken down by members of the sports teams..."

"I see..." Shino stated calmly, though anyone who could read his body language could tell that he was rather upset about the matter. "I doubt it was the two trying to recruit you to join the Mixed Martial Arts team that did it..."

Naruto froze in mid-process to let a violent shudder ripple through his body. "Please... don't mention those two... I'm only hoping that they forget all about me eventually..."

"Gai and Lee?" the aged leader of the school's staff asked curiously, and at their nods he sighed and patted Naruto on the shoulder. "Sad to say my boy, they will not rest until you have joined their team now... I pray no one else has caught their attention..."

"Oh no... Tenten!" Naruto gasped in a panic, looking ready to bolt. Probably to go warn the very girl he'd just named as doomed.

"Easy Naruto, they won't interrupt her basketball practice, and I've no doubt that they'll leave her alone in her dorm tonight..." Sarutobi assured the blonde, while keeping a firm grip on his shoulder. "You can just leave her a message on the school's network and warn her. In the mean time... the state check for this month has arrived..."

"Oh no..."

"Yes Naruto," Sarutobi stated calmly while looking down as though delivering an announcement of death, "You must go shopping..."

Shino was surprised by a few key points in that very instant. One that Naruto hated shopping, two that the aged principal had a very firm grip on Naruto's shoulder, and three was that it was entirely possible to run at full speed without moving an inch. "Surely it will not be as bad as you fear Naruto, after all, you get to go into the city..."

"Oh you'd think that, wouldn't you? It'd be lovely to let such a beautiful dream just hold sway over your notions, you don't know who I have to take as a chaperone!" Naruto snapped back, trying everything in his power to slip free of Sarutobi's vice-like grip. "ASK HIM! GO ON AND ASK!"

"Very well, since you insist..." Shino answered, unable to deny his curiosity. "Who does he have to take as a chaperone to go shopping?"

"Dr. Kurenai Yuhi, as she is the only one state qualified to take a student in their personal vehicle..." Sarutobi answered as if it was the most natural and ordinary thing on the face of the planet. "I don't see why he has such a problem with her..."

Shino knew, though he didn't show any visible reaction to the news. Kurenai was the school's psychologist, and it was very well known that she was a shop-a-holic. She was also almost as fashion obsessed as the majority of the idol worshipers that surround Sasuke Uchiha, almost in that she would take time to make sure it fit the personality and physical appearance of a person, and not try to stick them into the latest fashion all the time. She actually picked clothes that lasted through a few fashion seasons.

Sounds like an ideal shopping companion right? WRONG! She will spend two hours in one shop having you try on at least five different shirts, and then have you go to another shop to try on shirts there, before coming back to the first one again, and repeating this loop for hours on end, until you wind up carrying your weight in clothes.

Shino's only thought was that at least Naruto was light weight, and so he wouldn't have too much clothes to carry.

"Perhaps a second student might come along... for a second opinion?" Shino offered helpfully, "Perhaps Tenten might be persuaded to go along..."

"Hmm... perhaps Shino, I would have to ask Kurenai about such, and of course get clearance from guardians and such..." Sarutobi answered before releasing Naruto. "It will be next week that you will go."

"Got it..." Naruto grumbled with his head bowed in defeat.

Sarutobi smiled warmly at the boy he thought of as a grandson, and mussed up his hair playfully. "There's a good lad Naruto, just remember to pick up some workout clothes this time..."

An exchange of pleasantries later, and the principal was gone. He hadn't even gone ten steps before Naruto turned to Shino and dropped to his knees pleading. "Shino, please put me in a coma, break my leg, rip my still beating heart from my chest and force me to eat it! Just don't make me go shopping with her again!"

Shino stifled a chuckle and shook his head before turning back to the plants. "Let's get back to work on selecting the optimal blend of insects for your greenhouse here..."

On the court, no body could touch her, her shots would always find their way into the basket no matter where she shot from. Sweat would fly off her as she raced around the court, her heart pounding, her mind focused and intent on the next exercise, the next drill, the next scrimmage. That was, until she overheard the managers gossiping.

"Did you hear about Tenten and Naruto dating?" the blonde one whispered behind her hand. "They say it's been going on for months now, and that they're finally public about it."

"Really?" the black haired one gasped with a puzzled look to her face. "That's hard to believe isn't it? After all, no one's ever seen them together before now, right? Couldn't this have been their first date?"

"Maybe, but what about that Shino kid? He cut in like nothing was the matter..." the orange haired one asked curious. "Could they be trying to keep it a secret? Or maybe they're not dating yet..."

"Yet? You sound like you know something, come on dish..." the blonde eagerly asked, and Tenten could just imagine her like a puppy wagging its tail.

"Well, I have it on good authority that they only met two weeks ago after Tenten sent Bertha into the bleachers... in detention..." the carrot top continued with a huge smirk. Tenten knew whose authority it was on, the girl had been in detention with her and Naruto. "And they got to talking while Mr. Hatake was reading his... novels... again."

As that was an accurate description of the events, Tenten felt no need to correct matters any, instead she continued with her stretching. "They became good friends after that, and today was the first time they both had time to just hang out..."

"So you're saying..."

"Yes... It's just a matter of time before Tenten wins him into her fan club, and with his inside track..." the girl whose hair just suddenly started reminding Tenten of pureed squash they gave babies for food continued. "And we know that Tenten doesn't want to date someone that doesn't know her... just wait, he's going to join a sports club, or she'll be in that gardening thing with him soon enough..."

The coach's arrival returned Tenten's attention back to practice, and broke up the gossiping managers to do some other chores. But in the back of Tenten's mind she couldn't help but wonder if maybe Naruto wouldn't make a good boyfriend. He was after all a great friend so far, easy on the eyes, and listened to you when you talked. Beyond that, he was funny.

Hitting the wall during a sprinting drill reinforced the notion that it might be a better idea to let things such as that until after practice. Lot less painful that way.

"You alright there Tenten?" the coach asked while said basketball star pushed herself off the wall. "It's not like you to space out..."

"Yeah, just got caught thinking about something..." Tenten admitted with slight blush and averted eyes. She didn't like being called out like this in front of everyone. "Won't happen again ma'am..."

"Don't worry about it Tenten... listen the finals are this week... so take her easy today. Go hit the weight room for about a half hour, then you can go. Take Janice with you, you two don't need the extra practice, but the workout would do you good," the coach offered while pointing out of the gym, where the weight room could be seen. "You've already warmed up so just do some light reps, and cool down stretches..."

"Ya sure coach?" Tenten asked rubbing her arm bashfully while looking away again. "I can keep going if you'd prefer..."

"Go on you two, and just keep healthy Tenten..." the older woman answered with a smile. "Just remember to take it easy tomorrow, and then be ready on Monday."

"Sure thing..." Tenten answered before heading over to the assistant coach. "Hey Janice... Coach just told me to go to the weight room... would you mind spotting me?"

A laugh and a warm smile was Janice's answer, before her arm slung over the bun-haired athlete's shoulder. "Sure thing... and you can tell me about this guy that's got you so distracted..."

"I wasn't thinking about Naruto!" Tenten protested before slapping a hand over her mouth and blushing deeper. After they'd entered the weight room, she finally pulled away and started a workout on the machines. Janice just watched her with a huge cat-like grin from nearby.

After a few reps, Tenten had almost forgotten what she'd just slipped out, and had nearly gotten back into stride with her workout. That is, until Janice spoke up after a rep. "So... his name is Naruto, huh?"

As the blush burned into her cheeks again, she wondered if Naruto was having this much teasing.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been a good couple hours just talking about the benefits and risks of allowing some of the entomology club's insects in to pollinate the plants, and Naruto felt that it was well spent time. The plan they'd set up looked like it would work, and as he stealthily sneaked up the back stairs to avoid getting caught by Gai and Lee again.

As he slipped down the hall with barely a whisper, he was thankful for all those pranks, in which he had to sneak around. After all, this was nearly ideal as a practical application for it. Now he just had to make it to his room, without them noticing.

It was about this moment that he heard something that caused him to regret a previous action. "HEY NARUTO!" Oh yeah, he had set them on Sasuke before, so he had to assume that this was his karma coming back to take a huge chunk out of his ass. Flicking off the last Uchiha, he abandoned stealth and just bolted for his room at a flat out run.

Fishing his key out of his pocket he made it to his door, just as Gai and Lee made it to the top of the main stairs. Never in his entire life had he unlocked, opened, entered, closed, and locked a door so fast before. If he had to guess, he would estimate it as about five point three seconds. And judging by the twin thuds on the other side of the door, he'd just escaped by the skin of his teeth.

Getting over to his desk he sighed and slumped down in his sole chair, feeling an odd object in his normally empty pocket. Digging it out, he looked at the little capsule prize he'd gotten from Anko curiously. What was inside it, he couldn't say, or even guess at. He'd not even looked at the poster that had proclaimed the prizes available.

Putting it down on his desk, he instead woke up his computer, and set about sending Tenten the warning of what he'd found out about Gai and Lee. A quick check of the calendar on the school's site indicated she had another week free of them, but it'd be best not to let her guard down too much.

Just as he was shutting down the messaging program, he found that someone had sent him a message. Opening it up, he tilted his head curiously as it was Shikamaru sending him a link, and only that. Looking at it, he found it was directed to the forum he'd posted at earlier, and figured it'd be alright to check out. A few minutes later found him laughing, as people had taken an aspect of his dreams, and began posting other suggestions for them.

His personal favorite was duct tape no jutsu, posted by Mister Umino. It was a multifunctional jutsu apparently as it silenced people when applied to the mouth, binding students/people to chairs, and many other interesting functions.

Adding the thread to his alerts, he went up to check the counts for his dreams thread. There were over one-hundred hits, and twelve replies that he didn't post. Opening the thread, he began reading through other dreams, and found that many of them mentioned periods that had been covered in his journal, but never spoke about to anyone else.

At the end, he found himself leaning back and letting out his breath, for some reason it felt even weirder having these dreams when others were having similar, related, or... WHATEVER dreams along with his. The idea that there was something in the water sprang to mind, but he passed that off as a really bad idea in the worst kind of way.

After all, how could they possibly all be effected the same way, regardless about the drugs used?

Pushing himself away from the chair, he began pacing around his room in thought. If they were all having some sort of linked dreaming, then that meant they all shared some common reason for it. The thought entered his mind that this was all a dream and the dreams were in fact reality, but one pinch to his arm reaffirmed his thought that this life was quite real.

There was a chance that they were all common memories and this was some messed up Genjutsu, but he would have to be older for that to work, and if he remembered right, pain would have broken it. He was fairly certain that his colliding with the wall would have waken him from the illusion.

The next option was that this was all coincidental, and he should just carry on as normal. Every second he considered this option, the more it made sense, however, he still felt that it would be a good idea to keep it monitored. If nothing else, it seemed like it'd be an interesting tale to tell his future family some day.

Reclaiming his seat at the computer he began playing with the little capsule thing while reorganizing his thoughts. There was just too much information, and not enough reference points to get everything in order.

Instead, he merely popped open the capsule and let the toy inside spill into his hand. Looking it over, he frowned in confusion. It was a white and black fox sculpture with nine tails. That alone would have been odd, but the fact that he recognized it as the final boss of the game meant it was probably a special item.

Setting it on top of his monitor, he turned it so that it would watch him over his room, almost like a guardian spirit. Not that he believed in that sort of superstition, but it still was better to be safe. After all, kitsune were supposed to be good if mischievous creatures, and foxes were cool. Maybe if he got some free time, he could slip away to hunt up some more fox things to decorate his room. Mister Sarutobi would probably have a heart attack if he found Naruto finally getting around to personalizing his room.

It had only been fourteen years ago that he came to live at the boarding school, and the most personal think in the room was his computer. That and the mess of various class books and school projects coating every surface of his room were all that marked it as his own. Mister Sarutobi had been insisting on him personalizing the room for years now, but he'd never felt like getting anything before now. Maybe this was the start of it?

Laying down on his bed, he sighed heavily and let his mind unwind from the day. It seemed that things were beginning to look up for him, and he just hoped that it continued to do so. As he drifted off, his mind turned to Tenten, and he briefly wondered why he was thinking about her under a star filled sky. However, sleep claimed him before he could look too deep into things.

In the girls' dorms, a tired Tenten closed down her system, to answer the door. It was nice of Naruto to give her the warning, as it allowed her to plan for the two coming after her, but also allowed her to focus on the upcoming finals. With spring rolling in full force, she'd have to pick another sport to participate in, but she figured she could get away from them by staying in sports long enough.

Opening her door, her thoughts of sports and annoying pseudo-clone duos were flung out the window as she found a blushing and fidgeting Hinata waiting for her. "Hey Hinata, what's up?"

Being let in, Hinata sat on the freshly abandoned chair by Tenten's computer and looked down at her hands quietly for a few minutes. Tenten knew better than to rush her, and instead sat on her bed, with her legs crossed under her. She knew that the best way to get Hinata talking was to give her time, and space. "M... Miss Tenten... I... I know I... I ask a lot of you... ever since I came here a c...couple years ago and you... you became my... my bi...big sister..."

Tenten smiled warmly as she thought back on her first meeting of the younger girl. As with all new transfers, she was assigned a volunteer among those that had been there longer to help her out with life at the boarding school, and Tenten just kept in touch with her after her time had been up. "I told you Hinata, just call me Tenten, and I enjoy our time together..."

"Oh... I... I'm sorry..." Hinata squeaked, before starting to pull into her shell. Tenten was set to give the shy girl the time it took to build up enough courage to continue on, but for the first time she could think of, Hinata clenched her fists, gulped down something in her throat and continued. "I... I was... was wondering... how... how do you te... tell a boy you... you like him?"

Tenten blinked at the surprising turn about in her normally quiet and recessive friend, and then a warm smile spread on her face. Her little sister was growing up. Instead of taking the humor route with trying to get Hinata to clarify what she meant about 'liking' a boy, she sighed and scooted back against her wall. "Well Hinata, I wouldn't know... but I think..." Tenten started before a blush formed on her cheeks and she thought about Naruto again. "I think that you just talk to them... and decide from there. I don't think there's a set way to go about it..."

"You.... you don't know?" Hinata asked in surprise, her eyes widening. "But... I thought... you... you... and Mister Naruto... I saw you together and thought I didn't have a chance..."

"Didn't have a chance?" Tenten asked, having only barely caught what Hinata had said as her voice trailed off towards the end. The pieces were starting to fall into place, and for some reason she felt threatened by the diminutive girl in front of her. "You mean it's Naruto?"

"Y... Yes?" Hinata answered, shrinking back, tears forming in the corner of her eyes. "I... I'm sorry Miss Tenten... I... I d... don't know other girls, and... I... I wouldn't have t...tried to t...take him... but..."

"Calm down Hinata... I know you wouldn't..." the older girl answered, crawling over and hugging the shy heiress gently. "Just take a few breaths and calm down..."

After Hinata had calmed down, she sat back and sighed heavily. This would take a lot of tact, delicate handling, and sensitivity. It would be a lot easier if she had one of those, wouldn't it? "Listen Hinata, I won't admit that I've thought about... dating Naruto... but it hasn't happened yet."

Tenten smiled warmly and pulled her legs up to her chest, studying the shy girl looking down at the carpeting in thought. Tenten knew that she'd laid out a rather heavy bomb, but the opening of hope was there. "Hinata, I... I don't want you to think I'm challenging you, but I am going to say that if you don't hurry, someone else will take him. I want you to know that I will not stand in your way, but I am not going to let you walk in to take my goal."

The purple haired heiress lifted her head to meet Tenten's eyes and rather than having the panicked, worried look that she'd expected, Hinata was simply smiling. She wiped away the tears stinging her eyes, and nodded bravely. "Thank you Miss Tenten... I... I hope you.... you and he are happy together if... if you win..."

"I know you and he will be if you win Hinata..." Tenten replied gently, before leaning in. "I do know that the greenhouse is looking for members to justify an expansion..."

Hinata blinked owlishly before her smile lit up brilliantly and a blush coated her cheeks. "T...thank you Miss Tenten... I... I hope that they accept my limited skills in botany... b...but my father insist I... I take a martial arts training."

"You could take both Hinata," Tenten offered as she leveraged herself off the bed. "I know that Gai's looking for people in that mixed martial arts team... check it out."

"I... I will consider it... Thank you Mi... Tenten..." Hinata answered as she walked over to the door, and hugged the older teen gently. And with that she was gone like a ghost in the night, heading back to her room. Tenten shut the door, and found herself wondering just why she'd defended the non-existent relationship she had with Naruto. They were just friends, weren't they?

As she laid out on her bed, only two words played out in her mind. '_Aren't we?_'


	5. Chapter 5

Sunday, beautiful, glorious, wonderful Sunday. The single day of the week that Naruto allowed himself to sleep in until about noon, oh wondrous, lovely sleep, how special and ode worthy it was. That is, if one could actually enjoy it.

His problem started shortly after Four AM, when a rap-tap-tap came upon his window, and he found that the green spandex clad duo from hell were waving in on him from outside his window. Lee was even holding up a sign asking Naruto to join the mixed martial arts group. Naruto's answer was a simple slamming shut of his curtain, and trying to go back to sleep.

Then came the hammering at his door, which he knew could only be the ungodly caterpillar eyebrow'd duo from his nightmares. Maybe if he chose to ignore them, they'd get bored and go away.

Two hours later he was wondering if he could use the window to escape the pair. He needed a plan, cause his stomach was beginning to roar like a lion, and he could almost smell the chicken that the cafeteria served on Sundays. In fact... he did smell the chicken. Following the source, he found it to be coming from directly outside his door.

Oh, that was just cruel, they'd gone and gotten food, to try and smoke him out of his room. Maybe he should just give in and join the team. It's not like he didn't have free time, even with his work in the greenhouse. Besides if he joined, maybe they wouldn't focus on Tenten after her basketball season was over with.

He'd updated his dream blog, covering various demeaning "D-rank" missions. And found out that Tenten thanked him for his warning about the pair that was currently besieging him. He even tried out that create a jutsu game, getting a good laugh out of his explosive fishing no jutsu, which combined explosive tags, a rock, and clearing an entire lake of fish in a single day.

Hmm... if he could use his chakra to perform that henge technique like he did in the dreams, maybe he could just get out of here. All he had to do was create a believable appearance. But then that'd reveal too much about something he wasn't quite sure about just yet, so he needed another plan, something to get them away from his doorway for a few minutes so he could slip out.

The idea came to him as he looked around and saw his favorite orange blanket. "Well now... that could work..."

Opening his window, he scanned the grounds until he found his target, sighting him reading his book while leaning against the roof access for the main campus, Naruto smiled widely and took a deep breath. "HEY MR. HATAKE! WHATCHA DOING ON THE ROOF OF THE MAIN CAMPUS?!"

Kakashi's head whipped up and zeroed in on Naruto, his visible eye narrowed in suspicion as he closed his book and started walking around for the door. Now was the time for Naruto to strike, while the iron was hot. "OH, YOU'RE LOOKING FOR MR. GAI TO CHALLENGE HIM?!"

The effect was instantaneous, he could hear and feel the bending of the space-time continuum as Gai bolted away to find his eternal rival, and Lee was dragged along in the vacuum his departure created. Mr. Hatake glared at Naruto hatefully, before abandoning his position on the roof, to hopefully escape Gai.

Oh yeah, he was going to suffer for this, but he could stand Kakashi's attempts at retribution far more than Gai's attempts at dragging him into the team.

Opening his door, he found he was indeed right, both Gai and his mini-me were long gone. And now, to make good of his sacrificing of Kakashi, he slipped out and took the back stairs and many back halls in order to get to the cafeteria. Sure it meant that he would take longer, but it also meant that he was less likely to run into anyone.

It seemed that his luck was smiling today, as he was able to get some drumsticks fresh from the fryer. The beans and mashed potatoes could have been ice cold lumps of unidentifiable masses, and he'd still have enjoyed the meal, but they were also done nicely, and he got a comfortable position over by the window. Everyone seemed to be giving him some distance for some reason, but he chose to ignore that and just started eating.

After a delicious and filling meal Naruto was filled and sated, so he felt it best to move along. First thing was to go to the greenhouse and check on the plants. A few detours to avoid the green devils, and he was safe in his sanctuary of oxygen producing chlorophyl factories. He just had to check the soil, and the water trough, both of which were perfectly fine. A quick check of the message board later, with nothing new, meant that he was done.

The library was closed today, so he could probably go outside, go to the gym, hit the common room, go swimming, or just hide in his room for the day. As he was making his long, round-about trip back to his room, he realized that he had to do laundry. And that made him think of how it might be the best hiding place.

Getting back to his room, he stuffed his dirty laundry into the bag that he'd gotten from the school with his name and room number sewn on. The trip to the laundry room was pretty simple, after all it was just down the hall, and to the left. Inside there, he found Shikamaru laying on top of one of the machines, letting the vibration lull him to sleep.

"Hey Shika..." Naruto greeted quietly before loading a washer and dropping in one of the soap packs that the school supplied. Instead of laying on top of his washer, he just settled down in front of it and enjoyed the massage he was getting from the machine.

"Hello Naruto, you have troublesome laundry to do today too?" Shika asked without opening his eyes at all.

Naruto opened an eye to peek at the lazy student, without moving any more muscles than necessary. "Yeah, and hiding away from Gai and Lee..."

"I heard about that... You do realize that Kakashi will hunt you down to the ends of the Earth, don't you?" Naruto smiled at the thought, he would have to be careful around him, but he wouldn't do anything too drastic. He hoped.

The two boys enjoyed the quiet companionship of dozing off with warm machines providing free massage services. A switch of machines later, and they were no longer able to enjoy the free massage, as the dryers were too heavy to vibrate enough. Instead they had to sit around and stare at each other blankly.

It's not that they were at odds with each other, but they'd never really spoke much before. Sure they had classes in common, and worked together on projects before, but they'd never exactly been social with each other.

"So... why'd you start up that dream thing... it's not your usual... lazy style..." Naruto started with all the tact he could muster. He really had to learn what tact was one day.

"That? I was bored, plagued by dreams, and Chouji mentioned having similar ones... just worked out an acronym, put together a board, and let it go from there," Shikamaru explained with a wave of his hand, before sighing. "Dreams similar to yours Naruto..."

"Have you tried to do any of it?" Naruto asked curiously, his attention actually focused on a fly buzzing around the light in the ceiling.

"Yeah... I think I got my shadows to move..." the lazy boy answered, before letting out a jaw popping yawn. "Haven't had a lot of time, or energy to test things out..."

Naruto's eyes widened as a new voice interrupted the quiet conversation. "Come my precious pupil, while we hunt for the most youthful Naruto, we must cleanse the unyouthful smell from out workout clothing!"

Naruto took the opportunity to test out that henge thing. A moment later, he looked exactly like a pillow and blanket laid out for Shikamaru to nap on. The slacker wasted no time in stretching out on top of the available blanket and pillow, which told Naruto more about the feelings of his sleeping items than he ever wanted to.

A minute after their clothes were stuffed into the washers, they'd left the room, and Naruto wasted no time reverting to normal, and shucking Shikamaru off of him. "I think I'll let them catch me next time..."

"As troublesome as it is Naruto, I think you may wish to review the Henge... it is supposed to be an illusion..." Shika explained with a frown, and assuming his thinking position. "I wonder... we are able to access chakra, which is supposed to be impossible in this world... there's a few theories that might be a viable solution..."

"Yeah... what?"

"I think we may have stumbled onto something very interesting Naruto... but I need more time to analyze it..." the lazy teen mumbled with a grin breaking out on his face. "This is going to be troublesome, but I think it will be very worth it..."

"Yeah... hey, if I send you the rest of my dream logs, would that help?" Naruto offered, looking and listening to the hallway just outside. "I'm gonna warn ya, some of it's really weird..."

"More weird than you turning into a girl at the drop of a hat?" the pony-tailed brunette teased lightly.

"Err... yeah, don't blame me for my subconscious using my imaginary older sister in such a way... that I can't explain..." Naruto answered with a heavy blush, causing his scars to stick out even more. "But it's just... a very dark look on life in the beginning... so..."

"I won't tell anyone Naruto... you've got my address to shoot me a copy..."

"Thanks man..." Naruto said with a smile as he pushed himself up. "I'll be back for my clothes... can you start them on a second cycle while I'm out?"

"Sure, keep away from Gai then..." Shikamaru answered with a smirk, allowing Naruto to run away with all the dignity he could muster. Which basically meant that he wasn't letting out a terrified whimper or screaming like a little girl while he bolted.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he told himself he was just making a strategic withdrawal, but even to himself that sounded like pure BS, and a voice in his head agreed.


	6. Chapter 6

Making it to the outside, he smiled as he heard Gai and Lee still shouting from inside the building. Now all he had to do was find a good hiding spot and wait out the green clad demons. Thinking about it, maybe he should just give in, after all it didn't sound like a bad team to join, and he was sure that they wouldn't make him wear those green atrocities. Pausing and shaking his head, he fought down a shudder at the thought of wearing one of them.

No, that was treasonous, vile thinking. He couldn't be seduced to the dark-side, just by sheer annoyance factor of the demented pair. Besides he still had to hold out, for Tenten to not be targeted, he had to present a larger, more elusive target. He had to get them so focused on himself, that they couldn't see anything else.

It was just as he was getting an insane, harebrained, and completely nuts idea, that he tripped over a rock and hit the ground hard. This wouldn't have been too bad, if the ground hadn't suddenly given away underneath him. A short scream and trip later, he looked around the small cave he'd found himself in. There was something off about the cave, but he couldn't place it.

He'd just about completed his look around when he noticed a strange pile of bones in one corner of the room. At least the thought they were bones, he'd never seen anything so black in his life, but it did form strange outline of a human body. The biggest problem he had with the body were the nine lines of bones fanned out underneath it, almost like tails.

'_**Hello kit, I was wondering when you'd come for me...**_**'** an insidious voice spoke inside his mind, causing him to whip his head around in terror, slowly his eyes fell back on the bizarre skeletal figure, catching a faint gleam in one of the long dead eye sockets. Gulping down his terror, he started backing away carefully. '_**Where do you think you're going kit? I've waited for so long for you... we are linked, you and I... It seems that neither of us can die, so long as one of us wants to live...**_'

"Kyuubi..." Naruto blurted out in wonder as he finally placed the voice. "Kyuubi no Yoko..."

'_**Finally got it, eh brat?**_' the vile voice asked with a sickening pleased sound to it. Naruto really loathed that voice instinctively, but for some reason didn't hate it as much as in his dreams. '_**Well, the other prisoner has realized just how well he is trapped too, huh? How about we go out and destroy the world?**_'

"NO!" Naruto shouted, glaring at the bones in front of him, "It's your fault I was hated in those dreams, why should I let you have what you desire?"

'_**Desire? Desire is it? Hmm... no I don't desire that destruction... nor to be released from our prison... No, my desire is more than something as base as that...**_' the embodiment of Naruto's nightmares stated, almost waxing philosophical as the bones remained inert. '_**Once, I would have agreed with that assessment, thirsted such that only the blood of entire nations could slack it... no, all I want right now is to see the world you live in this lifetime...**_'

"What do you mean?" Naruto asked, truly curious at how congenial the fox was being.

'_**You shall see... but for now, wake up,**_' Kyuubi answered before a single skeletal hand reached up and touched Naruto's forhead lightly.

"Wake up?" Naruto asked before he cupped his hands over his forehead that was throbbing with pain.

Sitting bolt up right he let out a gasp of pain and cupped his forehead again. Wait, sit up? Wasn't he standing a moment ago? And where was that damn fox who hurt his head. "Welcome back brat, that's a pretty nasty bump you have there..."

"Doc?" Naruto asked, lowering his hands carefully from the bandaged part of his forehead. "What? But I don't understand... How'd I get out of that cave?"

"Cave?" the nurse Tsunade asked curiously while coming over to look at the lump on Naruto's head. "Must have hit harder than I thought... you tripped over a rock and bashed your head on the outer wall of the science department."

That made more sense than what he'd just thought he'd experienced actually. But for some reason he couldn't put the thing off as just another dream. "Yeah... how'd I get here?"

"Oh that? Asuma heard the bang while he was correcting papers, and decided to investigate. He found you laying there and brought you here. You've been out for about three hours now..." Tsunade explained while gently probing the bruised area. "How odd... you're healing much faster than expected... maybe it wasn't as bad as we'd thought..."

Naruto blinked at this, he'd never thought about his injuries being fast before, but now that she mentioned it, he did remember healing faster than others normally did. How odd...

Shortly after, he was released from the infirmary, to go back to his room. After a brief stop off at the laundry room, he made it to his room with no incidents. While he folded his clothes, he reflected on the 'dream' that he had while in the nurse's office. There was something which made him think it wasn't one of his normal dreams, but he couldn't place it.

Looking over he found the white and black kitsune sitting on his monitor staring at him, what made him notice it was the fact that it seemed as though it was curious about him. Shaking his head, he put that off as his mind supplying fodder for his suspicious mind after the concussion. Maybe he should just get some sleep.

Instead, he decided to continue waiting the two hours that Dr. Tsunade ordered him to stay awake, and loaded up his text editor. The words to describe his 'dream' seemed to flow out like a river. Soon he had the entire dream down in words, and for some reason, he was holding the little kitsune figure in his hand, stroking the head with his thumb.

While in the middle of one stroke, he felt something odd that caught his attention, there was a slight rise on the crest of the head, formed by the swells of the fur, just large enough for him to feed a chain through if he wanted to wear it as a necklace. Pulling a length of string out of one of his many drawers, he slipped it through the small opening with ease, and then tied it off. Looking in the only mirror in his room, he found that it didn't look so bad on him, he'd have to look into getting a chain for it or at least a better piece of string or something.

Taking it back off, he set it on the edge of his desk, nearest to his bed, and decided to lay check through his threads. There was a few new jutsu, one of which had him laughing. After all, a jutsu to summon thousands of banana cream pies from thin air to pelt your enemies was just priceless.

The thread he'd posted his dreams in was still bustling, with several new additions. One in particular caught his attention, it was Iruka, talking about how he'd seen his parents get slaughtered by the Kyuubi before it was sealed away. It was given the feeling of being a flashback, but then Iruka began analyzing it.

In the dream, Iruka had claimed that he couldn't see the demon instead of the boy that tried his best. And that, he'd wondered if maybe a bit of penance for how he'd treated the boy in previous dreams. Beyond that, he wondered how the boy could have the strength to not hate the entire village for what they'd done, concluding that there must have been some sort of shining beacon of hope for the container named Naruto.

The very next post, from Kakashi Hatake, who while grumbling about a certain blonde student being in trouble the next time he saw him, pointed out that Iruka quite likely had been part of that beacon. From what Naruto could remember of the old life of his dreamland counterpart, that was true, Iruka had been a major part of what kept him sane.

All the talk of dreams reminded him that he was going to send Shikamaru a copy of the dreams so far, but what he read next stopped him. Kakashi was wondering why he was contradicting himself in the dream. He'd stated that he valued teamwork above all else, but from his own dreams, he kept pulling Sasuke aside for special training, leaving the other two to fend for themselves.

Naruto'd known this from his own dreams, but to see someone else, especially the teacher in question, question and admit it, shocked him. Closing out the window, he opened his messenger, and shot a copy of the dreams, and of the one from his concussion off to Shikamaru, before noticing a message from Tenten. She probably wanted to thank him for the warning again or something.

What he got was not what he expected in the least. Because she'd been lounging around in the student commons today, with no practice, and him being in the infirmary, she'd been captured by the enemy forces of the green demons, and persuaded to consider joining the mixed martial arts squad. She apologized, but she'd stated that if they could convince him in the next week, she'd sign up on Monday, otherwise the deal was off.

Great, no pressure then, right? With a sigh he continued reading her message, which had an apology, that he accepted, it was a panicked decision, and he couldn't blame her. But the final part of the message made him feel better, there might be another joining the greenhouse group. If they could get a couple more people, not only would they have enough to get the new greenhouse built, but also they could become an actual school club, with funding!

It would seem that his luck was beginning to turn to the better. Now he just had to be a good boy, not pounce on the new person like a rabid fan-boy, and get one more person to join. Nothing major, if she had put the name of the person after all, but no, she wouldn't do that. Hey, maybe if he made it through the next week of hell, he could convince her to join up, she could even just be a ghost member, showing up only for pictures and trips. He wouldn't mind, if it meant they'd get the new greenhouses and funding, he'd clone himself as a female student and have her join the club.

Not that he hadn't considered it, but he knew that it would be far to easy to figure out that plan, once his recent discoveries with chakra, and the news of those dreams, got out. Looking at the clock, he figured it was safe to go to bed, after leaving a reply.

His assurance that the Gai and Lee wouldn't get him, and his gratitude for the finding of a new member seemed not enough to him. It felt like there was a draw to type out something more, but whenever his fingers touched the keys, nothing would come out. In the end, he attached a warning about Dr. Yuhi coming to talk to her about coming with him shopping next weekend, and sent it off.

Stretching out on his bed, he wondered about this feeling he had, that something he wanted, no needed to say being just on the tip of his tongue, and still being unable to figure it out. It was a lot easier to be his dream-self, he was far more simplistic and direct.

Never once did he notice that his new necklace ornament seemed to be watching him with a playful smirk, and a mischievous twinkle to its eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Looking for a beta for my Naruto stories, any volunteers?  


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Naruto had never been so glad to have classes as he was for the past four days. What with the pair of green demons chasing after him every waking moment of the day, he didn't think that his sanity would hold out much longer. There was one benefit from their pursuit, none of the other jocks were trying to make his life miserable. They'd even left his latest poster in the commons alone out of either respect for his torment at the hands of Gai and Lee, or fear that the duo would focus on anyone attempting to best Naruto in any form.

Okay, so maybe Kakashi was being a little easier on his homework then he'd ever been in the past, but that was mostly since he was Gai's usual target, and with Naruto being the target now, he was finally able to just relax. It was nice that he'd attach notes on hiding places, and ways to distract Gai on the notes. He did not know about the fact that bunnies would send Gai running in terror, but he was glad for the information.

He'd also gotten good practice with something that he'd come to consider his dream-self's signature jutsu, kage bunshin. He'd make a couple clones, and have them pull that silly cartoon trick where one would duck into a door, while another would appear from another. That actually kept Gai and Lee both busy for three full hours, while the third clone that he'd created to just observe sent him back what had to be the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

Apparently one clone had gotten the pair so confused, that after one door was left open, Gai attempted to open it up ending with the bowl cut crowned teacher attempt to open said door, and slam into the wall with enough force to knock himself out. If only he had a camera recording it...

But now it was Friday, and he just had to make it until tomorrow before he'd be taken to the city for shopping, and Gai wouldn't be able to get him there. A day's respite before getting sucked into the chase again was just what the doctor was prescribing for him right now.

His musings were cut off by the sound of the bell ringing, telling him the class was over. Letting the other students filter out first, he groaned as he remembered what class he had next. Maybe he could just claim to be sick to get out of gym.

Deciding instead to face the enemy head on, he began his death-march. Five minutes later, he was in the locker room, changed and dreading every step towards the gym in which Gai would be waiting for him. After all, what was gym class, but a full forty-five minutes in which he couldn't escape from Gai's gaze?

"Hello my most youthful students! Today is a special day," Gai proclaimed loudly while beaming directly at Naruto. If the alarms weren't blaring in his head already, Naruto knew that they'd be blaring at this singular action. "For today we are going to run through the obstacle course today!"

Oh yeah... special to Gai meant bone weary exhausting to most anyone else with even a lick of sense in their brain. Everyone lined up in alphabetic order, as was standard Gai protocol for such days. This meant that Naruto was towards the back, right behind Sasuke. It would seem that Gai had other plans for today, as he called out, "To explore our youthfulness, we shall make it a competition! Sasuke, Naruto, both of you are going first, and the loser has to do laps while the others run through the course!"

Of course, he'd pull something like that. If he beat Sasuke, he'd only get clobbered by the Uchiha's fanbase, and then captured to join the mixed martial arts team. If he lost, he'd be running laps until he couldn't escape. It was a lose-lose scenario for Naruto.

Getting up to the starting line with the duck-butt haired prince of the school, he sighed heavily and assumed the position. There had to be some way to get out of this, win and he'd lose, lose and he'd lose... there had to be another way.

Starting off, the two were in a dead heat as they sprang over the hurdles set to various heights. The crawl under the cargo netting gave Naruto the idea to use chakra to ensure that he won, and then had the energy to run away. But that would only get Gai after him in a bigger hurry. The division began at the climbing wall, where Sasuke slipped on a patch of oil that Gai had prepared for them. Naruto on the other hand managed to adjust for it with little problem.

He'd actually gotten to the top, when he realized that the oil patches had even been there. After all, he slipped upon landing, sending his legs in two painfully opposing directions. Giving himself half a moment's rest to recover from the pain, he saw that Sasuke had gotten down off the wall, and was racing towards the swinging ropes. Well now, he couldn't just let Sasuke win, could he?

Pushing up, he sprinted at full speed, smirking as his chakra began forming itself to stick despite the oil. He had managed to get up a good amount of speed by the time he reached the ropes, and used it to launch him past the second rope, and onto the third, which in turn allowed him to continue swinging along at a faster pace than Sasuke could.

It was as he tackled going up the cargo netting that he got the idea. If he couldn't win, and couldn't lose... why not ensure that it happened that neither of them won, nor lost? All he had to do was keep pace with Sasuke during the slalom at the end of the course. Rolling onto his back at the top of the net, he paused to gulp down some air.

He had the zip line, the monkey bars, the spinning padded whackers, and the dodge ball parts to go before he reached the slalom. This was going to be fuuuuuun...

Leveraging himself upwards, he found that Sasuke was catching up nicely. Now he just had to keep that true. Walking over, he grabbed the first zip line's handles and began his descent. It was a three stage process, and by the end of the first run, Sasuke had started his slide.

At the second platform, Naruto forewent walking over, instead using the momentum to spring over to the other zipline, and hooked his knees on the handles. Halfway through the ride, he switched over to his hands, and hit the landing in a roll.

The easiest way to deal with the monkey bars would have been to just walk on the top of them, but that would have gotten cries of cheating, and he was pushing it as is. So instead, he began crossing it the proper way, finding out the hard way that Gai had decided to grease random bars here. Maybe he should have just done it the other way anyhow.

"Hey Sasuke, the bars are greased!" Naruto shouted back, while trying to recover his momentum. It was his hope that the prince would take the warning, and do the smart thing. As Naruto finished crossing the bars, he smiled seeing that indeed the silent survivor was up on top of the bars, walking along carefully in case of grease up there.

Naruto focused back on the race, weaving through the spinning arms. Sure they were padded, but they still would have hurt should one hit. Duck, leap, slip to the right, roll to the left, duck, roll under the forth and fifth arms, and spring up over the next two. It was just really wonderful to be in this interwoven network of spinning arms of padded pain. A second's respite, brought him sight of Sasuke working his way through the padded arms with about as much ease as Naruto was having. Finally Naruto was free, and panting heavily.

The slalom was the easiest part of the course, as he and Sasuke were neck and neck with each other, slipping and sliding through the oil on the course, using it to ski through the final part. And then they were through, tied to the second. "Good... Job..." Naruto panted while holding his knees.

"Hnn..." Sasuke eloquently put it, while he nursed a bruise he'd gotten somewhere on the course. After a moment he lowered his voice and mumbled. "Thanks... for the warning back there..."

Naruto blinked as he tried to understand that he was actually hearing Sasuke thanking him for anything. A smile split his face, while he gulped down air. "No problem, didn't want you losing to something like that..."

"Hnn..." Sasuke grunted out as they slipped and slid their way over to Gai, Naruto used just a trickle of chakra subconsciously to keep from doing the splits again, and lent Sasuke a bit of stability on their way. Gai, for his part was either genuinely happy at their performance, or a top-notch actor.

"Very youthful! The both of you performed perfectly, however, I'm afraid that it ended in an unyouthful tie... and as such the both of you have to run the course again... with weights!" Gai proclaimed while pulling out two pairs of ankle weights from nowhere. Seriously, nowhere, he was in skin-tight spandex, and no one could see any possible place for him to have housed them.

The two boys that had just ran the course did the only thing either one of them could think of. They pointed at each other and shouted. "HE WON!"

Without even waiting for someone to try and settle the matter, the went to go do laps around the perimeter of the school. Hey, Gai never once mentioned that they had to do laps indoors, or that they actually had to run, so instead they just kept it to a steady jog. "He's psychotic..." Naruto groaned as they made it outside, where the warm sunshine fell upon them.

"Hnn..." Sasuke agreed while they fell into step together. "Why'd you tie with me? If you hadn't stopped twice, you would have won..."

"And gotten beaten up by your fanclub," Naruto countered bitterly, missing the look of surprise on Sasuke's face. He did however catch the sound of the face-palming and the groan from the survivor of the Uchiha family.

"That was his plan, wasn't it? He wanted to wear you out to get me to join his club..." Sasuke mumbled into his palm angrily. "If he wears you out, he'll have an easier time trapping you to joining that team of his..."

The pieces of the puzzle began falling into place, and Naruto knew he'd been set up. First by his friend Tenten, and then by the school's idol Sasuke. Oh yeah, this was just a real stellar week all said and done. "How long do I have to hold out for you to win?"

"Until the end of day Monday," Sasuke answered solemnly as they around the first corner of the school, "He caught me just after he caught Tenten. My deal was if she joined, I would. Should have known he'd pull something like this..."

"Gee ya think?" Naruto questioned sarcastically. Hey, he was sick of being used by others to get out of being on the team. "Who else is in on the wager?"

"Sakura Haruno and Ino Yamanaka will be joining if I do. Shikamaru Nara and Chouji Akimichi will likely be pulled in with Ino, and if those two get dragged in..." Sasuke trailed off, trying to remember the rest of the list. "Short list is looking to be including Shino Aburame, Kiba Inuzuka, Neji Hyuuga, his cousin Hinata Hyuuga... and I think I heard about a couple of teachers agreeing to joining up if he got enough students..."

"So... no pressure, right?" Naruto snarked as they continued the first circuit.

"Hnn..." Sasuke agreed, while they continued their jog. They were passing the greenhouses now, and Naruto smiled at seeing the thriving center of life that he'd helped cultivate. Seeing it made him remember that he'd been counted on to this degree before, and had risen to the occasion. All he had to do was avoid Gai for three more days.

No problem at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Ah Saturday, the first day of the weekend, a beautiful day full of sunshine, laughter, trees singing, and little cute fuzzy animals dancing around gaily at the base of said trees performing some ear sodomy they call singing.

At least that's what Naruto's mind was playing as he sat next to Tenten in the way back of Dr. Yuhi's van on their way into the city with Sasuke and some other guy he couldn't remember ever meeting in the seat in front of them, and in the front was Dr. Yuhi and Anko. The strange guy was content to just listen to his mp3 player and read from some huge novel, which meant that Sasuke had someone he could tolerate sitting with him, holding the best conversation he'd ever known... the non-existent kind.

The guy wasn't going to be coming back with them, apparently he was catching a train in the city and heading home for a few weeks due to a death in the family. They felt it best to let this Kabuto Yakushi fellow alone for now.

Naruto and Tenten decided to spend the two hour trip into town doing something productive. They slept. At least Tenten slept, Naruto had fully intended to pursue the chance to catch up on the precious respite that had been denied to him for the past week by a green duo from hell, but once he felt a warmth land on his shoulder all thoughts of sleep shot out of his head hard enough he could swear he felt it rip out an eardrum.

A quick, furtive glance to the front was met with a pair of pupil-less, light brown eyes that twinkled with evil mirth. EVIL I TELLS YA!

Okay, maybe it wasn't evil, but it did mean bad news to Naruto, he'd worn that look often enough that he just knew it meant trouble. But he couldn't bring himself to dislodge Tenten from his shoulder, not when she was sleeping so peacefully. That didn't mean he liked her as more than a friend right? No, not at all, I mean she was comfortable, and he was just letting her get some sleep...

That was what good friends did, right? Man it would be easier if he had other friends before now so that he could confirm this with prior experiences. But he didn't so he persevered down what he felt was the right path, after all, she did look kinda cute all peaceful and sleeping with the slight blush to her cheeks and the relaxed muscles of her face.

Somewhere deep in the recesses of his psyche, a small part of him that had always been dormant peeked into what the visual signals were relaying, and smiled. A few tweeks of chemicals in his brain had Naruto seeing her framed in soft, fuzzy white light. And with that, the long slumbering Libido settled in to watch.

Nothing too sudden, or the poor lad's mind could be crushed.

For a minute, Naruto wondered how his thundering heart hadn't woken the slumbering Tenten for he could hear it like a steady thundering thud of a a cannon barrage. Maybe it was the rhythmic thumping that lulled her to sleep. But then he figured that she probably couldn't hear it because his heart wasn't in chest as normal... but rather up in his throat, threatening to spring forth if he dared open his mouth.

What was that important thing that he forgot to do again... avoid Gai, go on this shopping trip, secure seat next to Tenten... oh that's right BREATHE! Sure it was awkward, short, and nervous breaths, but it was oxygen to his blood supply, and thus to his organs, and he thought that was pretty important. Or at least that's what they taught in biology.

While Naruto's mental capacities required a restart, Sasuke's were already running on overdrive. His brother had sent him a letter from somewhere in the next country over, taunting him about the death of their family again. The death that he had caused.

Sure the police had ruled it an accident, but Sasuke knew, he knew that it was caused by Itachi. How else could his older brother conveniently be eating ice cream with Sasuke when the explosion killed off their family?

Okay, so maybe their mother had forced them both to go, instead of attending the family meeting. And maybe the police had a point that her habit of looking up explosives was a bit suspicious. But his dreams had shown Itachi slaughtering the family, and that meant there was some truths to be found in such nocturnal visions.

But on the other hand, his brother had been taking excellent care of him, even running their father's conglomerate to keep them comfortable. And there had been no prior reasons to suspect his older brother that doted on him like a mother-hen half the time, and the other half nearly smothered him. It was a real blessing that the boarding school didn't allow outside visitors. Otherwise his reputation would be ruined in the first five seconds of his brother's arrival.

The man was a shark in business, but once he got talking to Sasuke, all dignity seems to vanish and he simply gushed over the younger brother. The worst part was that he had baby pictures in his wallet that he wasn't afraid to show at the drop of a hat. It was the second major reason he avoided his fangirls at all cost, the first being that they terrified the hell out of him.

Seriously, a mass of fifty girls screaming loudly at the mere sight of you, charging at you like a stampede of cattle was enough to terrorize even the most rational of minds.

Don't get him wrong, he was a normal teenaged red-blooded male of the human race, and knew all about tab a being inserted into slot b. The Internet was very useful in that regards, and most of the students had worked ways around the net guardian programs ages ago. Heck, there were even a couple of fangirls that he kinda liked looking at, and talking with online thanks to the anonymity of screen-names, but once they grouped up it was goodbye logic, and hello screaming gushing fangirl rush.

It was almost as bad as the damn Zergling rush.

Speaking of Zergling rush... his eyes shifted back to where the clone master himself, Naruto was sitting, red as a tomato. It was odd how he seemed to be the classic tragic hero type, while the Sasuke in the dreams was treated as one growing up. He didn't want to admit, but he admired the dream Naruto for his positive outlook on the raw deal of a life that he'd been dealt. Maybe it his character had been made out of stronger stuff, he'd have seen the good that life had offered him, instead of the negative.

This Naruto, on the other hand called for a specific and immediate retribution for unleashing that unholy demon named Gai on him. Okay so maybe he was over reacting, but it would still be fun. "Hey Naruto... you're supposed to wrap your arm around her shoulder and stroke her hair..."

As Naruto's cheeks grew redder, Sasuke enjoyed his victory, even more when Anko joined in. "I knew it! You two were so in sync when you were playing that game... and now you're so cute and cuddly... I only wish I had a camera to show all the girls at the school what they're missing."

"Co...Come on you two... you're go...gonna wake up Tenten..." Naruto nervously protested while looking at anything but the sleeping brunette cuddling into his arm like it was a teddy bear. He wondered what great sin he had performed to be put into this predicament, but he knew that list would be longer than the record of Gai's fashion crimes.

"Not with how she sleeps through her neighbors screaming about Sasuke..." Anko countered with a devious grin. It was a good thing she was restrained by the seat-belt, or she'd have probably slipped her way back and curled up around the pair. "Now then, why don't you just reach over and straighten out her little bang that's drifting down over her eyes? It'd be the right thing to do..."

"Sure man, just a single finger to move it out of her way... it is tickling her nose..." Sasuke added casually with a devious twinkle to his eye, which thankfully was hidden by his half turned face. But Naruto could smell a trap a mile away, and this reeked of it like nothing he'd ever smelt before.

Looking down, he did notice a single lock of Tenten's bangs had worked itself loose and was currently curled up right so it teased the nose with every breath she took. Without much thought about it, he carefully lifted his free hand up and brushed the hair back behind her ear. His mind returned just in time to hear the sound of a camera's shutter closing. A joint popping head whip later and he was staring right into the camera lens of a camera in Anko's hands. "Thanks Doc! This is going to be so awesome on the student common's bulletin board!"

Naruto's eyes bugged as he tried to figure out if Tenten would kill him or Anko first, knowing that both were on the chopping block should that picture get posted. "Hey An...Anko... how about you just delete that and... uh..." of course having a bargaining chip would be beneficial in this type of scenario.

Anko smiled evilly as she realized just how far over the barrel she had the blonde. "I don't think so Naruto... but just for that I think I should post it a link to it to all of the students... or maybe just give a copy of it to Ino Yamanaka."

Oh yeah, he was definitely paying off some of his list right now. But for some reason, he couldn't really find it in him to argue too strongly against the possibility of him and Tenten going out. "Come on you guys... we're not going out..."

Even as he thought it, Naruto heard the word escape Sasuke's mouth. "Yet."

He was seriously tempted to walk right up to Gai and agree to join the team, just to see Sasuke suffer. The only thing stopping him right now was the fact that if he did that, Tenten would never forgive him for getting her stuck on the team too.

There had to be a loophole that he could exploit to get Sasuke on the team without getting Tenten stuck on it it too. He didn't really care about himself, if he was on the team, so be it, but Tenten didn't seem too keen on the idea of being stuck with Gai as a team coach, and she had her basketball skills. He'd heard the rumors of scouts watching her recently, and he believed it. There was little to nothing she couldn't do out there on the court, and if he didn't hold out past the end of day Monday, she could risk it all due to his foolishness.

No he had to continue fighting, he had to overcome the diabolical duo laying in wait for his return to the school. But he would prank the two teasing him, on that you could be sure. Especially Anko, who seemed to be showing Kurenai the picture while they were stopped waiting for a train. Honestly, he was surprised they even ran at quarter-to-five, but he supposed it was business as usual for some poor engineer.

"Anko, if you don't behave, I'll send you to take Kabuto to the train instead of going with the others to get breakfast..." Kurenai stated calmly while the last of the cars trundled past and the gate lifted. "And remember it's your turn to go shopping next week."

The ghastly white hue that Anko took before she thumbed the delete button on the camera, spoke volumes about just what Kurenai could do. It was especially bad if those rumors about them was true. But this could be an opportunity for Naruto to get out of the sticky situation he was in. "So, are we meeting you at the restaurant Doc? Or at a shop?"

"I'll meet you at the restaurant Naruto, unless Anko wishes to keep teasing you..." Kurenai added calmly, though Naruto could see the glare she was shooting Anko. "Also, about your relationship with Tenten, I'd suggest taking it slow and letting it progress naturally. No need to rush these things after all... isn't that right Anko?"

"Yes ma'am, absolutely right ma'am..." Anko answered swiftly, as though terrified of disagreeing with Kurenai, but Naruto sensed an underlying agreement with her words. That blush building on Anko's cheeks meant there was a tale to tell there, and it would be a very interesting one. Now if only he was sure she would tell it.

Silently his free hand rubbed the nine-tailed fox pendent he'd taken to wearing with its thumb, while the other one patiently asked about the return of circulation to it sometime in the near future. There was a lot to be said for waiting for payback after all, and he might even be able to think of a perfect plan somewhere around the fiftieth change of shirts.

As they pulled up to Ichiraku's cafe, Naruto smiled. It had nothing to do with his favorite restaurant being right outside his window, nor about the return of feeling to his other arm as Tenten finally roused herself. No, he was getting an idea on how to get out of this shopping trip with as little fuss as possible.

He just had to get Sasuke and Tenten to play along, and that would be... well not entirely easy, but easy enough that he didn't have to worry about it. And now it was time for breakfast.


	9. Chapter 9

Breakfast was a subdued affair, with Naruto and Tenten being forced to sit next to each other by the rest of the companions for this trip. Why wasn't he just walking up to Gai and signing his next few years over, just so he could see the shocked look on Sasuke's face when he realized he was going to have to join the team too.

Oh right, he couldn't subject his best friend Tenten to that type of torment.

It was all-you-can-eat buffet day at Icharaku's, which was a spread of chicken, eggs, potatos, various processed pork products, pasta salads, pizza, ramen, and a slew of other things. Against three hungry teens, one somewhat hungry older teen, one energetic lady, and a more reserved shopaholic storing up energy for the day to come, the buffet put up a valiant effort, and lasted well for the collection of food products that it was.

It was with little surprise that the only thing remaining of the once overflowing buffet were metal pans and a pea that somehow hadn't been fished out by Anko as she heaped vegetables onto the kid's plates when Kurenai gave her 'the glare' as she dubbed it. When the red-eyed woman's attention was elsewhere, she'd sneak extra desserts onto the plate with a small smirk and a wink of her eye.

Naruto briefly wondered if this was what it was like having parents, one that enforced the rules, while the other helped the kids to bend them to suit their desires. It was pretty nice, if one thought about it, but very depressing when you realized that you couldn't have it.

But with the others around, it was enough to allow him to feel like a part of a family. A pleasant dream that had haunted his nights more than once, back when he wasn't dreaming about being a ninja in a day-glow orange jumpsuit. While orange was his favorite color, he just couldn't understand that seeming obsession with it that his other self had.

But enough of that, it was time to lay out the plan to prevent him from being forced into trying on endless waves of outfits and shoes at the merciless hands on Dr. Yuhi. Thankfully, he had the perfect fall-guy sitting directly across from him with a smug little smirk on his face. "So Sasuke, you were telling me yesterday how you thought Anko was a much better fashion consultant than Dr. Yuhi?"

Now this had two effects that Naruto noticed immediately. First Sasuke paled whiter than a ghost, knowing that the blond prankster had just doomed him to a day long marathon of being the psychologist's pet fashion model. The second, which actually supported the first was that Kurenai's smile tightened as she turned to look at the young boy who was about to be doomed to her tender mercies. "Oh? Is that so?"

"Oh yea, he was just telling me all about her having a better fashion sense," Naruto continued to embellish, his devious smirk going unnoticed by all but two members of party. The first was Sasuke Uchiha, who was trying to find a way to worm out of the torment that was about to be visited upon him.

The other was Tenten, and she joined in the torment with a question. "Didn't you once say that she couldn't find you a decent outfit with all your monthly funds and an entire weekend?"

A solid thud could be heard in the minds of all present as that damning question left Tenten's mouth. She had just sealed Sasuke's coffin with that final nail, and there was no way out of it now... short of stabbing someone with a utensil. Maybe a spoon, or a chopstick, or... those strange spork thingies.

The long, perfectly manicured fingers of one severely insulted fashionista closed firmly around Sasuke's upper arm signals that he was death knell for his wallet. He was doomed, and there was only Naruto Uzumaki to blame. If it was the last thing he did, he would have his vengeance, and it would be glorious! GLORIOUS YOU HEAR? HIS VENGEANCE WOULD LIGHT THE HEAVENS AFLAME WITH GLORIOUS GLORIOUSNESS!

Woah... that was a bit Gai-like, and that was very disturbing. Maybe going shopping wouldn't be so bad... right? Poor poor Sasuke. This is what he gets for putting all that pressure on Naruto.

A trip to the register later and they were back in the van to finish the trip into town. This time, Naruto rested his head against the window and allowed the others to consider him as good as sleeping. Instead he savored the look on Sasuke's face as the school idol realized he'd just been pranked.

Shortly after, Tenten was leaning against him again, and he curled into the warmth, his arm curling around her shoulders without a single thought from his brain. It was cold this morning, and Tenten was warm. That's all.

He still had to pull a prank on Anko, but she was far harder to get than Sasuke. She had a devious streak that would challenge even Mr. Umino to overcome, but Naruto would persevere. After all, he'd not been named the Prankster Prince of Konoha for nothing. As thoughts of vengeance danced in his head, he couldn't help but wonder why Tenten had helped him out.

Could those rumors he'd heard being spread about the two of them be true? Did they really have such feelings for each other? Sure it wouldn't be bad, but he would only drag her down.

Maybe he should stop hanging out with her so much, after all, if he was going to drag her down from the height that she'd reached. Wasn't that what a good guy supposed to do for the girl he was interested in?

Or maybe... if he joined the team after Tenten was cleared he could clean up his act a bit. Being a athlete like her wouldn't be so bad, especially if it made him into more worthy boyfriend material. It wouldn't even be that hard to join up, he'd just have to walk up to Gai on Monday and tell him he accepted.

True it would limit how much time he spent in his greenhouse, but he was sure he could manage. It was for the best after all. He'd be a better person for Tenten to be seen with, and maybe understand her a bit more.

The question now was, would she like him if he was a better person?

Little did he know that a mere couple centimeters away, Tenten's mind was racing as she feigned sleeping against the blond again. She knew that Hinata was interested in Naruto, and that the thought of her taking the blond away caused her heart to clench. But he was sooooo warm...

Still, she wouldn't give up just because it could potentially hurt the girl she'd come to regard as a little sister. She'd made that very clear to Hinata, and it seemed she had to remind herself of it now.

Mmm that smell of dirt and plants was rather soothing on him...

Right, where was she? Oh yeah, how to show to him that she'd accept him asking her out without pinning him to the wall and kissing in him front of the entire school. She may have been a tomboyish jock with target fixation, but she was damned if she wasn't going to get asked out by the boy she liked.

Why was his heart beating so fast in his sleep? Not that it's bad... it's actually rather soothing...

She wanted to be the pretty fucking princess, and if she had to tie Naruto down to a chair and explain the facts of life to him, she would... but only if she really _**had**_ to. After all, it wasn't lady-like to do that.

I wonder if he would like me in that black dress I saw last month... the one with the orange foxes on the hem...

A date with Naruto? What could they do at the school? With neither of them having a car, nor a bike between them, they were stuck in the academy for the most part. She guessed they could swing on down to see Dr. Yuhi's Illusionist Club putting on a show, or watch the Drama Club doing rehearsals, catch supper in one of the privacy booths of the student cafeteria, and then they could go look at the stars in the greenhouse, or up in the Astronomy Club's floor, with their massive skylight.

Mmmm his hand felt really good when it stroked her side like that. Wait, was he awake? No, he'd have said something by now if he was. Besides his eyes were closed.

Then they could go back to her room and sit and talk for a while, curled up just like this. Or maybe she could get lost in those sparkling blue eyes of his. Or they could spend some time doing what hormonal teens did. She might not know all the details, but she did hear the whispered comments, and her Internet browsing hadn't been _entirely_ school appropriate.

I wonder if he'd like to go clubbing on one of these trips... we'd have to take Dr. Yuhi or Anko with us, but it'd be fun to go out dancing. He looked like he would be very agile on the dance floor, coated in sweat, his shirt open to expose his tight, rippling muscles as she...

Yes, dancing would be a good thing. Maybe she could get him in that shirtless dance club at school... oh those abs she felt under her hand brushing over his stomach just begged for her to tease and play with. Mmm... that's one fine hunka man she was rubbin'...

Rawr...

Where the hell that thought came from, she didn't want to ponder, but for some reason it just came unbidden to her mind as she considered her friend. Maybe she should tell him to ask her out subtly... or get someone else to clue him in. Like uh... maybe... well there was... ok so she had no female friends she could direct him to that would send him back. Hm... Maybe Lee and Gai would do it if she promised to join. But she'd already promised to join if Naruto joined... this would require some thought.

Speaking of thought, one came to her mind as she traced a small little path between Naruto's abs. In those dreams that she'd been having, along with most of Konoha it seemed, he had been agile and unpredictable. Oh, how she hoped that it would carry over into this world as he held her body oh so close to his while they both worked up a sweat... on the dance floor, yea... on the dance floor, or maybe in a sport or... uhh... well that other type of close physical activity could be fun too... but when they were older. Not until she was 15 at least!

Even if the local law stated that next month Naruto would be perfectly legal at the ripe age of 13... she wanted to wait.

Actually... screw the white wedding crap, she wanted to have her fun NOW! Just, not everything at once you know... some things were better saved for when they wouldn't potentially ruin her life. Like after Basketball season ended... which was yesterday with her team winning the finals.

But then there was next season, and then she had the higher brackets that she was shooting for... Maybe she could just talk to Dr. Tsunade. She'd always been discreet with the other girls who wanted... the other sort of physical activity without the risks of... plumping.

First things first, get through today without making a total fool of herself, and then see about getting Naruto to realize she was date ready, and he was her target.

Her delectably muscular target who smelled like a garden ripe for the plucking.

Meanwhile, back in the rest of the van, the other passengers were trying desperately not to notice the two nearly making out in the very back. If one of them was awake, it would be an awesome teasing time, but as it was, Anko had to settle for video feed of the two.

Oh, it was going to get posted, so long as Kurenai didn't snap out of her shopaholic mindset before the two lovebirds woke up.


	10. Chapter 10

A familiar, fell voice whispering, "**Back to visit me again, eh Kit?**" snapped Naruto into awareness, as he found himself in the cavern facing the Kyuubi no Yoko, eye to empty eye-socket. "**Hello meatbag.**"

"GAH!" Naruto shouted as he sprung back, pressing against the far wall of the cave while clutching his chest, swearing his heart was about to spring from his chest. "Don't do that! Can't you summon some skin or something?"

"**I could... but then I couldn't scare you like this, now could I?**" the skeletal form teased as it settled down while looking at the chains holding it to the wall it was bound to. With a dry, sigh that caused its bones to rattle, "**No, it won't do to antagonize you like that... let's start over...**"

Before Naruto's very eyes, flesh and sinew crept its way over the blackened bones. What appeared at the end would probably have sent a lesser man into a catatonic state of blood loss, as aside from the nine tails and two fox like tails sticking out of the top of her head, Kyuubi would have passed for an amber eyed, orange-red haired athlete in her prime. Solid muscles rippled sensually under perfectly smooth skin, not that Naruto noticed. Instead his eyes were locked on the two mammary glands currently staring back at him.

Sadly for the young boy of hormonal age, the dream nipples were hidden by a black and red track suit like he'd seen the basketball players wear during practice sometimes. "**There you go, so much better than the last form you chose for me... Not that I'm female mind... I'm not male either, so it matters not.**"

"W...wait, '_I chose_' isn't that all on you?" Naruto asked with honest confusion, hoping Kyuubi didn't point out that his pants were very tight right now. "I mean... well if you're not male or female... doesn't that mean you get to choose the form you take?"

"**Your mindscape kit, your rules about how I appear. I suppose I have a little influence in colors and keeping my tails, but nothing else,**" Kyuubi explained as she settled down on the stone shelf that had been next to her pile of bones. "**This cave is much better than the sewer, thank you.**"

"Uhh... yeah, no problem..." Naruto answered uncertainly as he relaxed a little in front of the demonic entity that had made his dream self's life a living hell. Okay, so it didn't do much aside from attacking a village after... something... and then getting sealed inside his stomach. Wait, what did she do to him again?

Well the demon fox in the dream was a big jerk, and the embodiment of evil. But it had kept him alive by healing him, and taking care of that pesky little malnutrition problem of his. And it had given him all that chakra when he needed it.

So... why was she so evil again?

"So... trapped inside me... how's that working out?" Naruto asked lamely as he tried to reconcile what happened in his dream to what he was seeing right now. It was like two very different entities, both of which had no concept of the other.

"**Oh you know, enjoying your mind's view of things, sleeping late, plotting how to get you to bang that hot athlete of yours before you die of blue balls like last time... The usual,**" Kyuubi answered with a small shrug of her shoulders. "**Or maybe that pale eyed girl with all the bounce to her step... anything but the pink haired harpy. Gods she gave **_**me**_** nightmares, and I'm a demon! We don't GET nightmares!**"

"Ah... yeah, I'm pretty sure she's lesbo for Ino, but in denial for Sasuke... or something like that..." Naruto answered while scratching his cheek nervously, it wasn't like he had much experience talking to living embodiment of evil, women, or anyone else. Let alone one that was a prisoner in a cave, whom he'd just seen the breasts of. "So... umm... Is this going to be a regular thing? Or am I going to see more of that Konoha place from my dreams?"

"**Dreams? Oh... right, you think they're dreams...**" Kyuubi asked before breaking off in a deep, sinister chuckle. "**You will dream again Kit... and there is much to be revealed... but for now... stop groping that cute little athlete.**"

Naruto blinked and whipped his hand away from Tenten's breast, just as a shutter click sounded from the front seat, getting a groan of displeasure from Anko as she looked at the preview. "Awwww, come on Naruto, go back and grope her some more... let me get a picture..."

"No. Thanks," Naruto answered forcefully as he carefully placed his hand on Tenten's arm, steering well clear of her private parts. He wasn't about to let Anko embarrass him or Tenten any further than she already had. Not if he could help it at least.

If anyone had looked at Tenten's face, they would have seen a girl torn between frustration, gratitude, and embarrassment. However, what was important to the story was that Kurenai was watching Naruto's reaction in the mirror, with a smirk on her face. "Have a good nap there Naruto?"

"Y...yes ma'am... I swear, I wasn't trying to do anything!" Naruto replied back fervently as he tried desperately to not seem like a complete pervert in front of Tenten, who he wasn't entirely sure was sleeping, since her breathing wasn't the same as when she napped on his arm earlier.

"Really? That's funny... since boys your age are supposed to have some urges to try things like that..." Kurenai mused as she pulled into the mall parking lot. "We'll have to set up an appointment to look into that... unless you're just trying to be a gentleman... in which case, listen to her. She'll clue you in."

"Gotcha..." Naruto agreed, blushing deeper than he had when Anko was teasing him earlier. He had plenty of urges, and wanted so much to act upon them, but it wasn't right. Was it? They were just teens, and she had so much ahead of her.

He couldn't risk that for his selfish gains, could he?

Mere centimeters away, the 'sleeping' girl was having a war with her hormones of a similar nature to what was occurring with her friend and psuedo-boyfriend. Wait, they hadn't had a date, so was it possible to even be that? What does one call a boy that they want to ride into the ground until one of them ends up with a broken pelvis?

Meh, she'd just go with Psuedo-Boyfriend until further notice. He would be her boyfriend... sooner or later. If he ever asked her out that is. She still wanted to be asked out by the hot, muscular, nummy boy she was currently snuggling with. Why couldn't he have continued to grope her? She was enjoying it, DAMMIT!

But she guessed that was just a part of why she liked him, he was so kind and gentle despite everything people say about the Prankster Prince of Konoha. Now if only she could get him to ditch their second monitor, take him to a dark theater and guide him into asking her out. If he had half the stamina of what he did in the dreams, a fact she was willing to believe after hearing about his run through Gai's obstacle course from hell, he would even be able to keep up with her insane lifestyle. Some of which, she'd admit, would be pounding her into the mattress and out the other side when they got old enough.

You know, being in the mixed martial arts group would be a good way to work off some of this pent up tension and aggression she was feeling. Hopefully, before she ended up doing something stupid like raping Naruto until he liked it. No matter how much PrettyDangoKittyPrincess might suggest it in her forum posts, it just didn't seem like a good way to get a guy to like you in her opinion.

Besides she might get to play with those wonderful sharp, pointy, pain-inducing implements of ouchies that her dream-self got to use. She wasn't nearly as obsessive with them as her other side appeared to be in those dreams, but they still looked really cool, especially that three tined kunai, which curled the outer tines in on itself, so she could hook something internal like a spine and rip it out with a jerk. Or maybe that sword with a bone-saw along the back edge of it. Or the scroll that stored dozens upon dozens of weapons to be thrown.

She would have to look into finding some way to duplicate those scrolls... and while she was at it, explosive notes as well. There was just something about them that she desperately wanted to have at her beck and call, to use as she pleased.

She couldn't even imagine why the dream Gai-sensei wouldn't allow her to to use them at all. It's not like she blew him up, burned off the eyebrows of his prized pupil, gave the brown haired fate-obsessed one a mullet, and nearly destroyed a village or anything... though there was that one point where everything sorta got blurry for a few hou- err days of dream time towards the beginning of her dreams, so she couldn't be entirely certain of that.

But enough of that, she'd worry about the sharp and pointies and the boom booms later. Right now was her plotting Naruto-time damnit! The only problem was getting Anko to leave them alone for a few hours today. She'd ruin everything with that cursed camera of hers and just how pushy she was.

Naruto had to be a slow, careful seduction to ensure that he doesn't run away from her and ruin all her lovely little plans for the boy. Now if she could just get him to understand that she wanted him to be naughty with her. Eventually, mostly if he could escape Gai for a another day after they get back. If he couldn't, then they would have to survive several grueling months of pain, agony, suffering, and whining from the rest of the people she'd heard were stuck on the list if he failed to make it through. Plus, she wouldn't have enough energy to get naughty with him.

As the van pulled into a parking stall, Tenten 'woke up' stretching a little bit and yawning. From the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Naruto casting glances at her breasts as they strained against the material of the t-shirt she'd worn under her coat, which had pulled a little tighter in her 'sleep'.

"Sasuke, Kabuto, you two are with me today. Naruto, Tenten, I'll trust you two to keep Anko out of trouble long enough to buy Naruto some clothing, we'll meet up for lunch at noon... make that one-thirty at the East mall entrance to the food court," Kurenai ordered, grabbing Sasuke by the collar before he could attempt to make a run for it. It was almost like he didn't want to spend the next few hours going from store to store looking for the best outfits. "And Anko, if I have to pick you up from the security office again, I will make the kitchens not give you any dango for a full month... among other punishments. Understood?"

It was one thing to see the usually cocksure, boisterous Anko performing her duties around the student commons. It was an entirely different thing seeing her being glared down by a red-eyed, fashion obsessed woman that didn't look like she could win against anyone in a fight, and replying in a meek, scared little voice with a "Y...yes ma'am..."

Maybe it was a good thing that Naruto never pranked the psychiatrist, even if she annoyed him during the monthly shopping trips, she was still pretty nice. But that... that look right there made the prankster want to find a nice black board to write 'Naruto is a good boy' over one or two hundred times.

In a store specializing in masks, a man sneezed all over one that looked like an orange spiral lollipop. Unfortunately, due to store policy, he had to now buy it. And he did so hate orange and spirals to begin with, not that he had any clue as to why, but he just did.

Back with the first group, Kurenai was dragging Sasuke off to await Kabuto's train at the nearby station, already talking about how she was going to get him some lovely dress shirts, slacks, and ties. Items that he had better wear on a regular basis or she would hunt him down with a vengeance unseen by man. Sasuke... Sasuke was torn between stripping out of the shirt he was being dragged by and running for it like a real man, or sticking around and plotting out the slow, painful demise of Tenten and Naruto. They'd just moved up near the top of the list, right after his older brother. At least he wasn't in the area.

At the mall's optometrist, said older brother was getting the results of his eye exam. It would seem that his vision was failing at an accelerated rate, and soon he wouldn't be able to see his cute younger brother anymore. Maybe he should try that incredibly expensive and risky procedure to get his vision fixed, he could trust his personal assistant Kisame to run things for the week that it would take to heal from this laser vision correction surgery.

Really, the doctor should stop trying to persuade him that it was perfectly safe. Especially since he replaced himself with a coat tree earlier. He should also get Sasuke in for a check-up, maybe if they caught it early, they could treat it without the 'laser' thingie.

Picking up the inch thick lenses the doctor had made for him, he grabbed his pimp cane and began walking out of the office. In the lobby, he found the blue suited man that was his assistant, watching the fish swimming about the doctor's aquarium rather hungrily. "Kisame, let's go get some breakfast, and no sushi today. I'm in the mood for sausages and eggs."

"Sure thing boss, we can go to the Perkies next to the train station, and have the food there. They are highly recommended," the shark faced man answered with a smile as he pulled the coat on his boss. "Should I go ahead and schedule an appointment for Sasuke to see an optometrist sir?"

"Yes, and then I need to discuss some future plans for the company with you," Itachi agreed, feeling better about trusting the man who had been confused with a shark more than once. He wasn't a shark, he was a certified lawyer, and sharks tended to run from them. How Itachi managed to get a lawyer as his personal assistant was a mystery even to the two men, but one day they met and the strange partnership they had formed almost instantly.

In Dango group, as Anko called it, Naruto and Tenten were one step behind said wild woman, trying to figure out a way to ditch her and have some fun. It took three stores, ten bags of underwear, clothing, and accessories (including a new silver chain for his pendent) for them to get an idea to form. "Hey Anko, is that a free dango sale?" Tenten asked, only to find an afterimage of the woman where she had been. "Right... run for the car and then hide out in the theater?"

"Sounds good, I'll buy the tickets and snacks," Naruto agreed, hefting the bags and following his female-friend-that-he-might-have-possible-romantic-feelings-for out to the parking lot. As they found Kurenai's van they ran into their first snafu of the plan. Neither of them had keys, and Kurenai locked the van.

The second flaw was the rather angry looking Anko storming after them. Maybe telling her about a fictitious dango sale was a bad idea... and they would have gotten away with it if it hadn't been for those darn meddling lock and their entrance deterrent nature!

As the pair smiled nervously at the obviously livid woman, they knew that they were not getting away from this in one piece. It was never a good sign when the eyes of the person looking at you brought to mind images of a noose.

"Now Anko, let me explain..." Naruto started with his best smile, hoping to at least buy some time for the woman to cool off.


End file.
